Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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