Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
