you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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