Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
