I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
