Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
