He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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