That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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