3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
