piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
