the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize