When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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