I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
