Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Congratulations! We have a period
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
