mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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