That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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