Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
