sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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