The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize