Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
