...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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