My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
