i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
