I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This is the high leading the old right now
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
