oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The uberlube is also flammable
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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