Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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