I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
