U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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