Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
