our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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