Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
