their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
