Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
