i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
