I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
