sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize