Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
