haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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