then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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