i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
