In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
