no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize