If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
