My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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