yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
