peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
