He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
