1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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