I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
