it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
