Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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