when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
