Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize