i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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