you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
