That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize