maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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