How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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