Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
