I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
