I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
