how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
