I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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