Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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